Entry 1- 2.22.21

Lord grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. - Michelangelo Angelo 

I left south Florida when I was 18 to come to Boston for school. It was always my dream to go to college in Boston, I started off as a psych major “because it was practical”. When I walked out of my psych 101 class and into my Art history 100 class I knew I had to switch majors. In high school, I was an art nerd (a nerd in general but art had a cool edge) I lived and thrived in the art room. When I would get home from school I kept sketching and painting but I was constantly told that I had to do something “practical” with my future. 

 

In my art history classes, I learned so much and loved everything I learned. I traveled all over the world and throughout different time periods in my textbooks but I had to make it “practical”. 

 

I hustled and found internships that could help me get a step closer to practicality ie. a job. I worked, took on a full class load, interned, and partied. I tried to stay balanced while also securing my future. 

 

After graduating I worked at a cafe as a barista, I weighted tables, worked as a hostess at a five-start restaurant all while applying for months to get a full-time job. Still in search of practicality. 

 

After 8 months I landed my literal dream job at a major museum working with incredible young people to help them appreciate the wonders of art. I also taught them practicality, how to navigate and thrive in the fields they desired.  

 

It was a dream come true that slowly became a nightmare. The practicality of work and life was catching up with me and crippling my soul. I was in a toxic work culture surrounded by practicality that made me numb. I was paying my bills and living for each day but it wasn’t enough. I neglected to feed my soul, I wasn’t making art regularly and I was separated by all of the comforts of home and close friends.  

 

I was drowning in mundanity confused because I thought that’s what I wanted. I soon realized a practical life is not enough for me, I want an exceptional, miraculous, unbelievable life and to get that I had to be those things. 

 

I will not make myself small, edit my dreams to fit expectations, or adjust my frequency for others who do not vibrate with me. 

 

God put each of us on this earth to be exceptional in his image and I pray to match his vision. I am still healing, working, learning but I’ve let go of practicality and I am aiming for the heavens. This life is short and fragile but we are long and strong! I choose to live! 

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